Raining day~

Raining days~ are always the time make me quite missing you, miss the time when we walk under the rain, miss the time we talked to each other"雷电交加的夜晚...", it was quite funny and sweet... hope that you stay happy and healthy all the time~miss you so much...Ks
Will you miss me when it is raining~

Thanks for the umbrella you gave me, I treasure it much, I do not need to starve even raining days, hope that I still have the chance to cover you and go out gaigai with you under the rain...
The bus stop and the uncle that time after we had our dim sum, do you still remember how sweet and funny it was when we across the road and waiting the bus~ I miss that...
Take care, Ks.. I will always be there to hold the umbrella~waiting for you...

Dream...I hope...it comes true~

I...dreamt tat, U come back my side, hug me and cry at the same time saying tat, Can we together back? My heart...the Ice...melt...the feeling all gush from my HEART...

But...It was just a dream, even...I hope it is not~ quite missing you... last saturday 12/6 you went to Vietnam with family, tonight you should be back, hope you really enjoy the journey with your family, and...can relax and warmth up your mind and heart...

Have a nice rest...Ks

Today...if we are still a couple, I would like to say dear...my little fox, bi...Happy One Year and One Month Anniversary, Love you so much...thank you for ur love and effort, I treasure it~

Thks my friends~

Last sunday,13/6 morning, my hometown friends and I went to a cave Gua Tempurung which is located in between the kampar and ipoh, it was a nice and excited experience, adventure activity that is worth to go,haha...
The scenery there is attractive, we 9 ppl went there and brought our own flashlight, inside is so dark tat we can`t even see our fingers if we don`t switch on the light... felt the dark...so terrible if we were trapped in tat environment >.<"
It took us around 3 to 4 hours to finish whole sessions, we walked, climbing under water, lean back on the wall, the most excited part which is climbing under water like a soldier is going to sneak attack ppl, when I stood up after I go through one of the climbing areas, one leech on my right palm~.~" hoho...shock and scare, lucky the malay guidance help me put it away, I can felt the leech is ready to such my blood and the small area of my palm is numb,haha... 1st time I met leech, the feeling is so horrible...
Thks my frens for giving such a nice experience and it is very happy to join u guys in any activities~else sometimes I am alone at room easy to think of those sad memory,haha...
Friendship~I care...thks

I will b there... If u need me~

Last saturday 12/6, in the beginning u r no willing to admit tat u together wif someone, but...in the end, u admitted tat u together bak wif ur 1st love, the betrayer, haiz...wht can I comment?!!

I noe u r no serious together wif the bad guy, but wht for? U still care me, and still jealous when u noe I m gd wif other gal frens, y still do such immature decision? I love you~u love me... wht is the purpose u wan bak wif tat betrayer, pls~stop doing tat kind of immature decision and behavior, tat is not benefit to both of us, y u wan use tis kind of decision to make us more suffer?

Love...is not like tat~U noe wht u taught me before!!!

Honestly, I will oways b there, juz for u~ I juz noe, I wan to protect u, do whatever I can to make u feel happy... Pls~stop harming our LOVE...we love each other deeply, there is no point to do like tat, hope u can really mature before u get cheated or hurt by others...

Don`t just say, but do opposite way!!!

I will always be there, if you need me someday...

Love you...my little fox~

Suffer~

After u blocked me since 1/6, almost everynite I can`t slp well, so suffer...keep dreaming all the time, and then morning woke up still vry tired, wht`s wrong wif me? Even in dream, I found bak u and we together again, tat kind of feeling is so happy than ever... even is dream it made me feel ur warmth and ur love~

Sometimes the dreams are like the truth, I was trying to keep u bak to me, beg u gv me a chance...and I can be suddenly woke up with a fast heart beating, felt so bad...so pain...so suffer... Since u left me, seems like I never hv a nice slp as before...

Miss u so much...without contact u for one week, hope tat u r happy and healthy...Wonder how important I m in ur heart~ Sometimes feel like juz wan to hv a normal talk juz like a normal fren, but...u r no willing to let it happen...I can`t do anything, juz...can wait u... I don`t know how long I can wait, I juz know until now, we broke up since 30/4, My heart..my LOVE...still on ur side...never change...

Sometimes~I am thinking...

Sometimes...I was thinking tat, r u fair enough to me? How come our relationship end up like tis?

Is it ur 1st love betrayed u and dumped u at tat time made u so nonconfidence and unsecure in ppl especially ur new relationship~ tat`s y u oways don`t believe me in doing my things..and my friendship with gals, I willing to sacrificed my friendships juz to exchange ur secure feeling, and willing to quit all my activities tat can let me communicate with outside, juz wanna to get ur trust, trust in my love~to U...

But...how many times??? When I was trying to do something then I can`t get ur trust, tat kinds of sad and disappointed feeling do u noe? All wht I did juz for u, but...why??? Because of ur unsecure we quarreled so many times do u noe? how many times I was tring my best to explain to u? U can`t c and can`t feel tat is my LOVE to u?

When u found bak me, c whether I still hv feeling in u, if hv...we can tried together, don`t miss the chance, ya..indeed, U said tat u hv improved and don`t let me tired and won`t tied ppl until hard to breath tat is beyond ur control...u will gv space, where is the space in the end??? U suspect me wan to betray u and mayb I will betray u juz like ur 1st love, U hate tat, I knew...tat`s y I did so many things and sacrifice... Do u realize how much I did juz for u???

U told me that u r oways feel unsecure, why? I knew...coz u r betrayed by ur 1st love when u had ur PLKN while we were 18 years old, when u enter the camp he ignore u and juz told u broke up without any further explanation, and disappear in ur world, at tat time, u r totally...fall apart, how patient I was juz accompany u to go through tat...when u need a fren who was willing to accompany u anytime and tried to made u happy all the time even everyday we contacted through sms...even midnite...I was oways be there...juz for u...I woke up at midnite juz because I received ur sms..it was almost one year in between~I don`t want let u alone and suffer by the pain that betrayer brought to u...after u went out from the camp, u realized tat the guy oredi had another gal tat`s y ignore and broke up wif u... Ya, I knew u hate betray!!!

Now, U r wiiling to find the guy bak and told him u miss him, wht the... Do I look like so lowliness than the betrayer??? Let u ignore me and actively contact him, find him and even meet him date him out... can I say tat u r so unfair to me...unfair....reallyy..unfair!!?

The betrayer do such thing to let u hurt deeply, made u change from a optimistic ppl to a pessimism ppl, u r totally change juz because of his betrayed relationship to u!!! now u treat me like cold-blooded, is it really need to wait u everytime hurt by others then juz realize tat how important I am? is it???

WHY~why U oways can`t understand..can`t understand how TRUE I m to u...I m responsible to u..my love...y there are so many misunderstanding between us...I am sad... very...sad...

Everyone can don`t trust me, but why...the one I love so much can`t even understand me and trust me? so hurt...so hurt me it was...

I hope, someday...U can truly understand My LOVE to u are seriouly than anyone...

No one can really understand u juz like me... As u r oways cover the real self in front of ppl...nobody realize tat, coz they don`t know u...laugh cover everything from u, except in front of me, u can`t do tat...

I appreciate u so much when I 1st saw u and met u~ impressed me deeply~ Hope tat u can stay happy every moment and take gd k of urself, tat is so many dangers juz around u, but u can`t realize it... Take k~ My Love...hope tat in the future I won`t c u deeply hurt by others...or cheated by others...I really don`t hope tat happen...as...mayb u don`t noe it is much more pain to me~

I LOVE U~Ks

The 1st admit sry u wrote to me...I like tat mature u r...

Friday, 25 Sep, 2009 6: 25 PM

Dear dear...
Hubby...
I love u so much...
Yesterday's incident make me so hurt...
I never thought dat u would really mean it to leave me...
I thought u will never leave me...
No matter wat happen...

U noe rite...
I never mean it when saying break up...
I juz have faith in u dat u love me...
N u wont say yes...
May b im too confident in u?
Hehe...

Darling...
Dun leave me pls...
Im so stubborn in words...
I juz dunwan to lose while argue wif u...
But i never mean it...
Juz like u say im cheap...
U dun really mean it...do u?

Sumtimes...
I noe im too over...
Dear...
But i feel embarass to say sorry im wrong...
N the only choice for me is to keep on argue...
Hoping u will let me win...

Dar...
Juz forget wat happen yesterday can?
I still will try to b good...
B a good girlfren...

Hopefully u will still sayang me like b4...
Hope u will love me like b4...
Hope nth change...
I cant lose u...
U noe...
I will die...
U r everything to me....
Sum1 so special...
Dat i love u so much...
I had been trying...
Sumtimes i juz nid u to remind me...
May b u dun believe...
Dat time i sms wif the penang guy...
I didnt realize this will cause u unhappy...
Coz for me...
Im not paying much attention on him...
Wat i c is juz u...
If i mind him so much...
May b i will feel guilty...
N i will try to delete all the msg n let u not see them...
Bcoz of guilty...
But dats not the case...
I juz forgot i got sms him...
I forgot everything bout him...
Coz he is nth to me...
U noe?

I love u...
Im telling u dat...
All the wrong things i did...
I dun realize im wrong...
I juz nid u to remind me...
N i will change the habit...
I can change for u...
Dear...
Like u see...
I din sms wif other guy ad...
Besides homework things...
Or juz saying hello to good frens...
I din try to catch anyone's attention...
I dun nid...
All i wan is u...
N i have u...

Darling...
Juz remind me if i did sth make u unhappy...
OK?
Its not purposely...
I juz duno u will feel upset bcoz of those things...
I juz nid u telling me...
N i can change...
I love u darling...
Nid u like oxygen...

Lets try to understand each others feeling...
Think like i am u...
Think like u r me...
Hope dat we will b better...
Loving each other more n more...
Never leave...
Dun do wat u dun like i do to u...
N i dun do wat i dun like u do to me...

I wish...
We can have our career dat dun nid too much of communication wif others...
If we can afford...
Lets move to a place...
Dat juz have we 2 only...

I nid u dear...
I love u dear...
I miss u dear...
DON LEAVE ME....

2years after~ I really received ur replied, I felt so touch...

Friday, 15 May, 2009 2: 23 AM

我的小尾巴~你写给我的哦~我还收着~
爱回我吧。。。我曾经让你很无力。。。现在也许我的喜怒哀乐都牵动不了你。。。但是。。。我的喜怒哀乐被你牵着走。。。

希望你找得回曾经爱我的感觉。。。因为。。。我喜欢你。。。很喜欢很喜欢你。。。不过。。。我也不想给你压力。。。

我知道你会说看缘份之类的。。。对。。。但是。。。也请你努力看看。。。毕竟很多事情光靠缘份是不够的阿。。。

你还是我的依赖哦。。。我最最依赖的那个人。。。最最相信的那个人。。。与其说我们在一起，我会很不舒服。。。倒不如说你也不舒服。。。

其实我在意的是你的压力。。。有时似乎我越努力。。。对方越压力。。。所以我虽然想和你在一起。。。但是。。。我还是希望你的快乐为优先。。。

所以等到你真的找回以前的热情。。。我们再在一起吧。。。如果那份热情已经石沉大海。。。你希望我放弃你。。。说一声。。。我不会纠缠你的。。。

现在你就是我的快乐了。。。没有你在的今天。。。遇到了好多麻烦的今天。。。现在的我觉得很累很累。。。因为我好想你哦。。。其实我有进步了。。。真的哦。。。以前的我更是控制狂吧。。。人只要有心。。。应该没什么办不到。。。所以。。。不满意我的地方。。。说一声吧。。。我会改的。。。只要你愿意说就好。。。不要放弃我。。。就算到最后。。。我们没有永远。。。至少努力过的。。。我们不会遗憾。。。很多你的习惯我之前都不开心的那些。。。其实都是我很没安全感。。。因为。。。我好怕失去你哦。。。我怕你爱上别人。。。不过。。。我想过了。。。我应该相信你。。。我会尽力的。。。一起加油吧！我亲爱的小尾巴~！i love u...hugz~ ^^愿我们会幸福。。。过着最平凡却也最幸福的日子~加油！只要努力。。。没什么不可能。。。我给你信心。。。我。给。你。幸。福。

Tis is the 1st time I wrote to you~ Ks

Date: Thu, 20 Dec 2007 17:20:21 +0800

一個受傷的天使從天上掉下了,遍體鱗傷,曾经的她，活泼、开朗、乐观，也是活在快樂中的吧!

我想,是緣分讓我們能認識,第一次在球場看到她時已有一種說不出的特別感覺,想不到那女孩就是我早已認識的網友..彼此再次聯繫上了...

看見一位好女孩多麼的開朗告訴我她的愛情點滴,嘻嘻哈哈的,幸福,那時的風ㄦ已悄悄吹來陣陣的感覺讓我曉得,好開興,朋友的甜蜜,愛情的成長,都一一告訴了我,我們的友誼也在隨著時間增溫..

07年,她畢業了,服兵役的當而,簡訊传來告訴我她受傷了,心被傷得好深,真的好深,難過,免不了.我唯一能做的就是好好陪她,日子久了,也成為乾哥哥了,看見妹妹這樣,我的內心好難過,默默的陪著她過難熬的日子,真的好珍惜疼愛她關心她的每時每刻,自己已變成了她的一種無形的依賴.

巧遇的第一次碰面,隨後第一次的約見,發現,自己的感覺有了變化,不做哥哥了,那種強烈的感覺似乎超出了,不知不覺中她的依賴已變成了自己的依賴,自己發現得好遲,以為自己很行,開導過那麼多的朋友,這次肯定也沒問題,沒想到自己好天真,遇到了傻氣的她夾雜著內心的痛,真的好痛心!

看見她日子久了還是那麼的傷、那麼的在意,也那麼的放不下,她哭..我,無能為力,自己封閉好久的淚水也一顆..一顆的落下來了!陪她也快一年了,她每一次的哭泣,我是有多麼的想把自己的肩膀讓出去,陪陪她,借她靠靠也好,但是..沒那個機會吧,好無奈自己不能為她做甚麼事.控制不了自己的自私心想把她拉過來好好的照顧,不再讓她受傷,衝動的自己造成了她的困擾,對不起..

畢業了,快去服兵役的我,想到未來的去向、想到教會的煩惱,還有更重要的一點就是放不下她.. 自己被煩惱影響到說話方式變得有點不一樣,又不小心讓她傷心、失望了,真的好抱歉,真的不是有意的,希望她獨立起來並不代表我要和她撇清關係,而是害怕我不在的一天,她會過的好辛苦、好無助、好絕望,甚至有甚麼不好的念頭,真的放心不下,不知該如何是好...

其他朋友我都能不去理會、不去關心,但是..不理她、不去關心她、不去在乎她的近況(健康,情緒,快不快樂)等等的,我..絕對做不到,不論自己以後是以甚麼身分都好,絕對不會斷開彼此的聯繫..

18號, 希望傻氣的她過得快樂…~Ha^^y Birthday~

好好照顧自己,別有時吃少少、別有時不吃、別有時亂吃喝,別拿健康開玩笑!加油吧~活出個全新的自己,有信心點!

放心吧,我...永不忘曾經的.. 記得要多愛多疼惜些自己哦,哈哈..以後保持聯絡,take care, the person whom I never 4get ^^”

Movies? Cant stop from missing u~

Sunday...morning went church, at nite went ipoh watched movie wif hometown frens, movies... I miss the time when we were watching movie and laugh and chat together, I can put ur hand..feel ur warmth and gv u warmth..feed u drinks and foods, My heart is so pain...

I really miss u so much..hope tat we still hv chance like tis..

around midnite 12am, suddenly u was unhappy wif me and drunk beer, I was so wry and pain.. I dont want u treat ur body like tat, I really care ur health more than mine, I tried my best to advice u no to drunk but u said me I was like acting movie and talked like the script, it was so sad do u noe? I am so care abt ur health, but in the end u said me like tat, so pain..so disappointed do u noe?

When we r together, the time u suffer, I sit in front of u, wht can I do when I saw u in tat suffer situation? I felt helpless and pain, as I can`t do anything to help u feel better, I juz can sit and accompany u quietly.. Now, I do not hv the right to sit beside u to accompany u if u r suffer in tat situation, I really care U... do not want to c tis happen again, no willing to let u hv the chance in tat situation..


I juz can advice u..advice and advice...hope u can truly understand me.. I care u, kersan, I really care u, I love u so much..

Feeling?Thinking?

Saturday juz reached kampar around 6pm, tidied up all the things into my new room, it is quite big, vry comfortable, then I went for dinner wif my old fren, we had a nice chat^^"

I went to 125 to move my pillow and bedsheet bak to my new room which is 303A, erm..why I insisted that wan to move tat bedsheet by myself walking although the new room oredi got provided one, as..I miss the bedsheet and pillow when we lived together, warmth and happiness are all on that, I miss U..Kersan, miss u so much, feel like wan to inform u but..I afraid I disturbed u so I quietly missing u and do whatever I can to feel the feeling u gave me when we were together, erm..sometimes I laughed because it was so sweet..to think of u juz beside me and we live together,haha.. it was sad, all is juz my illusion, vry pain..lonely..missing U..

I LOVE U~My Little Fox~~~FOREVER...